I thought I wouldn't get hurt by people anymore.
But that's just wistful thinking on my part.
It's the same,8 years ago when I was first diagnosed.
My friends left me. Told me they couldn't stand being around me.
And now, this.
I completed my degree, had a scholarship attachment. Completed it ahead of time.
No one knows.
Except my husband.
My beloved supervisor who encourages me and help me when I had a relapse in 2006.
She has left the company.
Now, I am all alone.
I look at the people around me. They just want to gossip.
The new girls just want to be better than me.
To backstab me, to tell tales about me (well... just JC)
The management? They just lapped it all up.
I'm sure they plotted all these.
They are out to get rid of me.
I have completed so many projects. I get rave reviews from partners, from people that I have trained.
All these while on meds.
And now they tell me drugs affect my moods.
What irony?
I am very confused.
I do not want to give up my job and this income and this sense of self worth... but I feel that I have nothing now.
I just want to cry and feel sorry for myself.
Dammit.
Want more pills and just not wake up.
Hate this feeling.
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