something to smile about

i feel slightly better. surfing the net and this catty picture is really cute!

How do you et them to cooperate?!!

love cats, they have their own mind and characteristics and they don't give a dam about what people thinks!

Something striked me today..

The happiest people in the world are not those
who have no problems, but those who learn to
live with things that are less than perfect .

Somehow, this stays in my mind today. I am grateful to God, to my love ones, to all who love and support me. I have learn that sometimes in life, it's hard to be perfect. That nobody can ever be perfect.
I have to learn.
I have to learn not to let this illness gets me down.
But it's so hard.
If I have learn, I have tried, why does it keep attacking me?
Why does it affects my life that I have learn to accept?

Damaged

I wrote this in year 2005.
Felt damaged. Still do.
This loneliness will never leave..
i'm just Not perfect anymore

In this world, surrounded by beauty, i am just but a damaged butterfly.
My wings are clipped, i can't fly. i am damaged....

Is it true that in this world, this society, once you are tainted, once you are damaged, you can no longer be as beautiful?
Maybe its just insecurity. Maybe it's just personal expectation that is a tad too high.
Would people mind? is it better to just leave them with the memories that you have created for them than to reveal what lies beneath?

let them bask in the beautiful facade that haunts them, not let them be haunted by the brokenness that is held together with all ounce of dignity.

are personalities personated? do we consciously want to play the part of whom we perceived ourselves to be? or do we act in the ways we think others like us to be?

I have no idea whom i am. Which side of me is true, which side of me is an imagination...


Which is real? Why don't anyone believes?
Why do I have to go through this over and over again?
Why torture me? Why an I so alone?
-----------------------------------------------




“Damaged” by Plumb

Dreaming comes so easily
'cause it's all that i've known
True love is a fairy tale
I'm damaged, so how would i know

I'm scared and i'm alone
I'm ashamed
And i need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that i wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
'cause i feel you, i feel you near me

I didn't say all the things that i wanted to say

And you can't take back what you've taken away
'cause i feel you, i feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as i'm sure you know

There's mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but i can't go back

Lonely

She is both hubby and me favourite actress of all times. for the past 10 years.
She looks lonely curled up. it's posing. But i feel lonely.
Lonely. Lonely . Lonely.'
Wish I'm prettier, smarter, not empty.

I sit on a chair in a crowded room but i'm all alone. They don't exist. The just looked through and I pretend I know.
I'm empty, I'm lonely. and I heart her. she's great.

fragile, broken and in knots

when your heart is broken..
can it be fixed?
can it be put together?
strings and tapes,
ducts and glue.
when it's shattered
what's left of it?

Can it function
can it feel
can it love

will the pain remains
the emptiness
the once hopeful dreams

it hurts so bad.
for reasons more than I can say.
fragile and holding on.

it's will be good

all curled up