This world is dam artificial.
I am artificial, in less than 4 hours, I need to get my ass out of bed. trugged through the rain and into this "safe haven" dubbed by L. My foot. i need to pretend. all eyes are on me. the cruelty that some looked at me, waiting to see me fall ( they do not know abt me) but they are evil, they can't wait to see me fall, can wait to hear gossips about me.
I am just entertainment.
I pretend.
I will be what they want to see.
I lost myself long ago.
i found letters i wrote for an ex plus some pix today while clearing the drawers. I read it, and i threw the photos away. cut myslf up too. what hurts me was this sentence he said ' if you want to break up fine. i can live without you. But you can never live without me". 6 years and it hurts.. from someone who causes this breakdown, who treated you like dirt, like shit after you have been diagnosed. it sucks. i do not miss him or have any feelings for him now. but those words, those thoughts, thouse impressions of what happened came inching into your mind. it make me sick.
i can't write as well. im artificial.]
i need to sleep. to get my aartificial life going.
i am so a fake.
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